Tuesday, December 28, 2004

AHHH...THE SIMPLICITY THAT IS MAN

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU BOYS........

Rules That Guys Wish Women Knew

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
Don't cut your hair. Ever.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
Get rid of your cat.
Sunday = Sports
Anything you wear is fine. Really.
Women wearing wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
A headache for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - Not both.
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
You have enough clothes.

AND MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE.....


Nothing says, "I love you," like sex.


2 Comments:

Blogger Rex Venom said...

'Nothing says, "I love you," like sex.'
You have broken our secret Man-Code! Arrrrgh!
Now we will have to go and make up a new one! Darn.

January 5, 2005 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger Rex Venom said...

Hummm. Falling Petals, eh? Well, it goes like this; nobody owns anyone, I really don’t drink that much anymore and, yes, I am a great kisser (hee hee)! She is a fine lady, weather scorned or not. And my lack of commitment in life is not based on fears. Enjoy the Soaps of life. I sure do. Have fun!

January 5, 2005 at 10:34 AM  

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